I look back to October 2020, a little over a year ago. I found myself laying on the operating table going in for emergency surgery. I was on the verge of death. I had a diseased and ruptured bowel. I knew I could die at any moment. It wasn’t like the times playing Mario as a kid, with that fun little music, push start and start over.
This was the end end.
I hit a wall. I was filled with absolute terror.
I remember sitting there, questioning my faith. Did I believe in a God, or a higher power? If I prayed to someone would they save me?
I sat at that moment as the doctor put the oxygen on me, ready to inject the anesthesia, praying to whatever deity would listen to save me.
I asked for one simple thing:
“If you save me, I’ll heal myself, then I’ll go out and I’ll heal whoever I can.”
Darkness. Silence.
The next few days were as followed:
Darkness, wake up feeling like I couldn’t breathe, someone telling me I was breathing just fine, pain, morphine, darkness, silence…again and again and again.
This however was the beginning of the end.
The end of the old me.
I lived a life of trauma. I struggled with severe and medication resistant depression, PTSD, chronic thoughts of unliving myself, self-harming. A life I didn’t want to continue.
That was the old me.
But then magic happened.
I almost died and instead woke up.
Really woke up.
I started healing myself.
I became a reiki practitioner and opened up miracles in my life. I found myself. I found purpose in my life. I became a healer. But not just any healer, I started healing the animals around me.
I have always had such a deep love and connection to animals. I spent so much of my life watching people walk past the crying cats in the neighborhood, kicking them away. People didn’t really take a notice of the birds flying in the sky, their beautiful music they would sing in the mornings. People were annoyed by these stunning creations.
I noticed people didn’t know that animals had feelings, and that those feelings could be hurt just like ours.
Animals can experience trauma, they can be discarded away, rehomed without a care in the world, like a burden. They were me. They were the unloved, the broken.
Some animals can be unconditionally loved, however their humans have no idea how to help them, they try their best, but they simply just don’t know how to understand animal language. That’s where I come in. I love all animals. The slimy, the stinky, the ones with gross tails, and the ones sitting on your couch giving you kisses.
Like the Phoenix I rose from the depths of despair, the ashes. I created a new me, a new beginning, a life I am happily living. I am Phoenix, the Animal Intuitive Healer.
Phoenix. December 7, 2021
